31 Days

Today is 31 days since I had my last drink. So far I haven't felt deprived. My coffee has gone back to it's topping of frothed milk or some almond milk instead of a splash of McCormicks liqueur. I drink green tea or water for the rest of the day and pass on the Niagra Medelo with a slice of lime squeezed and pushed thru the bottle neck or a glass of wine in the evening. Though, as I typed that out, I miss the flavor of those drinks.

Hm .... now that I'm reflecting and missing ... I especially miss my evening mix of 3 parts of Copra De Ora coffee liqueur with 1 part of McCormicks creme liqueur. This went from one or two drinks in the evenings of November and December 2010 to finishing off both bottles New Year's Eve night. Since I'd made the decision to quit drinking again nearly a month earlier ... no reason to leave those last two bottles to tempt me to break my 2011 resolve. Right?

Will I ever drink again? If I could promise never to be compulsive again and drink in such moderation as to not harm my liver, which is already trying to check out before the rest of me is ready, then I would answer,

"Hell, YEAH!"

I cannot promise that. In fact, I have visited Hell in my drinking history. Not just once but more times than I care to elaborate on. Such visits, in my past, are the main reason I have quit drinking before. Seems I get a few years of not drinking under my belt ... and maybe the time off softens those visits to Hell ... and maybe I don't want to believe I am an alcoholic ... and I'd return ... with an attempt to drink differently. Did I? For a while, maybe. Once I retired my favorites, Jack Daniels and Tequila, my drinking was more manageable. But not my thinking.

Will I ever drink again? For 31 days I haven't. I'm retiring all liqueur drinks with my 'fake' friends Jack and To-Kill-Ya (Tequila, for those of you that may be wondering.) and made a 2011 resolution to stop drinking. I'm committing to this year. If wine and beer ever make it back into my life, it will be because I will, once again, be attempting to drink differently. Will I be able to do it? Will I even want to drink again, by then? Hm .... for 31 days ... and counting.