CoPYcAt

So,
You want a copycat,
Someone who acts like you,
Thinks like you,
Moves like you,
Is even skinny like you.
I thought you liked my way.
This way is better, you say?
"That's not the right way,"
I'd hear another day.
And "I don't like that," you'd lament,
As I'd think, "I don't want to relent!"
Then you'd decide to define,
Explaining, "this is all mine,
You're here on my time,"
You'd always say.
Never aware of my dismay.
So,
Each day I'd disappear,
And the days turned into a year,
And much more time came with much more fear.
On the outside is the shell,
The copycat you trained so well.
But the inside is dead,
While the shell is misread.
For the one you once loved,
No longer believes in that love.
All has died and turned black,
You forgot I was part of the pact.
Did you ever even want just me?
What happened to being unique?
So,
The things I do now your way,

Most of which clashed with my way.

When you cancel one,

The balance is undone.

But all this you knew.

Claiming unbalance creates anew.

While one is weak,

You take your training seat,

Breaking down the rest,

Until your copycat is confessed.

Soon,

I will be complete,

Another you is quite a feat.

Congratulations!

I'm your copycat.

 





Coffee Break Series #3 ~ LOVE

February is celebrated as the LOVE month. Valentines Day is one of my favorite holidays and 'Love covers a multitude of sin' is one of my favorite quotes. But this February, I'm not in a celebratory mood. This year, love hurts.

I'm missing my daughter and her family. Not having my kids within hollering distance hurts. There was a time when I couldn't wait for my kids to grow up and start out on their own life journey. What was I thinking!

I must remember that my husband is missing ... too. Sure we can call and he is so much better at this than I am. He calls his Mom and son nearly every week. I don't like to talk on the phone. I do like the internet media tools. I appraise him of family news that I read from posts to Facebook. I guess, together, we can keep in touch and shorten the miles now between everyone.

It's just not the same.

I will adjust. This hurt will pass. I can still love from afar.

And another family member moved away from this Ogallala hometown. My baby brother, Donny, and his family moved back to Arizona last weekend. He came back to Ogallala .... and after nearly 4 years, they just weren't happy here. So he and his wife, Rose, and grandson, Nick, loaded up the moving truck and went back to be near son, Ryan and family. I sooooo understand the desire to be nearer one's kids/grand kids!

I regret I didn't show more love to my baby brother while he was here. It's a two way street that neither of us worked too hard at traveling. But I'm the big sister and should have been an example. Is it too late? Maybe for a face to face coffee break, but the miles apart should never hold love at bay. Right?!

So, the town of Ogallala has shrunk by two families dear to me. My personal world has shrunk to two. Hm ...

Well, it's just you and me bud!
My best friend of 27 years.
I love you, my husband,
And instead of so much fear,
That all this change demands,
And instead of holding hurt dear,
I turn to you , my husband,
And look to draw near,
And on growing love stand,
That may shed a few tears,
But with no repremands,
Because it's you and me, dear.
Let's strike up the band,
And love up the rest of our years.

I had to take another picture of my coffee mug, showing the picture on either side of the quote. The self-potrait is photo of my husband and I, taken not long after we got married. One of our wedding gifts was the 'Together' Willow Tree figurine, also pictured here. On the tag that labels the figurine is this note:

For those who have found their true partner in love and life.

I believe I have been blessed with my warrior, my friend, my true partner and together we are growing in love and life. We've endured much, stumbled often and even gotten lost a few times. Our opposites seem to pull us back together to make us stronger. Through it all, LOVE is the key. ...and adventure!

WHO SAYS A BIRTHDAY IS CELEBRATED IN JUST A MOMENT?

My husband has celebrated his 60th for near a week now. As well he should! 60 years of life is something to be celebrated, right!

I must admit it near went by without any fanfare. I was planning a big bash for this year ... only, it was to happen in June, the month I turn 60. (Gee, that sounds so selfish!) I wanted a poker run where folks could take a putt somewhere on our favorite 2 wheels, though 4 wheeled vehicles were not going to be snubbed. And a poker run is difficult to plan during his January birthday month, thus the reason for a combo bash in June. (Weather ... not selfishness, was my reasoning, see?)

After the poker run, that was to end at our place in the sandhills, we could all enjoy a catered in meal and a band or DJ or Karaoke, or all three, to round out that celebration time. I was encouraging camping in our huge yard and maybe even a Sunday morning breakfast, again, catered in, since it would be sad if we had to work at such a celebration. I was thinking this celebration would encompass our birthday celebrations of 60 years, a wedding reception we never had, and a great excuse to bring our friends and loved ones together for something other than a funeral!

BUT, hey, before you get excited about this shindig, it isn't going to happen! Why? Well, it was like pulling teeth every time I brought these plans up to my husband. It truly wasn't something he favored. And, I got tired of trying to get him excited about such a celebration. So I quit planning for June! When back surgery took me down in Oct/Nov/Dec ... I didn't plan anything for my husband for January, either.

When a friend asked me what we were doing for my husband's birthday, I didn't know. I asked my husband and an 'open house chili feed' was hatched for last Saturday (a week from today). I had two days to make calls (I'm sure I didn't call someone inadvertently. Sorry!) and get the chili fixings and set up a place in his shop for folks to stop by and have some chili, drink a beer and call my husband an 'old man'!

Even though it was such a short notice, we were pleasantly surprised by how many were able to drop by. Four bikes rumbled in for a quick bowl of chili, a beer, and a hug of gratitude that they came for a short time before they had to head back home. The low 50 degree temperature was not the best for a Harley ride. But we were sure glad they toughed it out. The rest made it out in their favorite, warm, 4 wheeled rides. :)

Our favorite time during this birthday open house was when the 5 year old grandson of one of our friends talked us in to playing musical chairs! My husband and I were missing our grandson and so it wasn't hard to get us involved. What a joy and lots of laughs when the other couples got involved! And, yes, we let this little guy win!

The following Sunday found my husband and I cleaning up after the party and giggling over some of the memories. Once we got our cleaning done, the rest of the day was spent watching movies. Wonderfully relaxing, which those who know my husband, is very difficult for him to do. He's my work-a-holic. 

I think it is very interesting that my husband's birthday fall's during the 'Wolf Moon'. This is the first year I really paid that any heed.







The 'Wolf Moon' photographed by my husband. He bought a new camera for 'us' to use. Since he was an art major in college at the UNL, with a photography minor, I am thrilled to see him get re-involved!







Several years ago I did my version of a 'Vision Quest' to Bear Mountain near Sturgis, SD. I've shared some of my experience in previous posts but not the whole experience. Someday I will write the whole story. But not today, since this post is focusing on my husband's 60th celebration. It is a story that begins with a dream about a wolf and it wasn't until THIS 'Wolf Moon' that I recalled that dream and was struck with the 'misinterrupertation' of that dream more than 12 years ago. Sorry, that's a story for a later blog.

Anyway, on the following Monday, the day of my husband's actual birthday, he was first greeted with several birthday wishes on a show sponsored by the local radio KMCX 106.5 country station. For a few minutes before the 8:30 am mark, folks can call into the 'Good News Program' and wish friends and loved ones Happy Birthday. I know you city folk probably find that kind of program hoaky but we love it here in the country sandhills, small town USA.

My husband works for the local power company and he paid a fellow worker and friend to bake him some treats to have during coffee break, that day, for all his co-workers. Are you wondering why I didn't bake something up for his special day? If you knew my cooking skills, you would not have to wonder at this! He said it was a great hit and he even got a surprise and meaningful birthday serenade from one of his coworkers!

Before he came home from work, he said he was also surprised by a bouquet of flowers in a beer mug that arrived from my daughter, Shelby and family. By the time he brought em home at the end of the week .... even the cats loved his mug-o-beer-flowers!

For the evening meal on this special day, I baked potatoes. Both white and yams. I re-heated my 7 bean chili, left over from Saturday's open house chili feed, and poured that over the chosen potato that had been prepped with butter and grated cheese, and topped with a spoonful of cole slaw. (Yikes, cole slaw! Yep, the flavor is awesome together!)

This was all served on our lil two topper table (I bought at a garage sale) which I covered with a 'black' table cloth and added a candle to. I had 50's music playing in the background on DISH. Poor guy. Since I was born in the 50's, too, and remember those songs playing all the time my Aunt Patty babysat my brothers and I ... I couldn't help but sing along. Yep ... poor guy!

He poured Chaco Canyon Pale Ale into his favorite etched glasses (that prevent the foam ever from running over the rim of the glass) and brought them to the table, where a spring salad with diced carrots, red onions, and apples sprinkled on top, and a splash of ranch & honey mustard dressing, were added, to finish our meal out.  AND he didn't act like my singing was that unbearable ... really. :)

It was romantic and special. In a normal setting, we often eat, in our favorite chairs, in separate areas since our TV interests are more often different. It was a nice change for a birthday!

Throughout the week, my husband was warmed by the greetings,  several cards and calls that he received to celebrate his birthday. And, finally, on Friday, Feb 1st, anyone who wished to, joined us up at the Open Range restaurant/bar for burgers and beer.

This final celebration was attended primarily by his work comrades, whom he considers friends. What a great time! It was awesome to also see some retired friends that we hadn't seen in a while.

Now, here it is, a week after his first party. My husband had a bit too much fun last night, and appears to be moving a bit slow today. I marvel at his ability to drink as much as he did and not have the kind of hangovers that would keep me down for near a week. The good thing about me not drinking like that anymore is that I can be available to help him pull wire in his shop on this beautiful Saturday (remember, this is my work-a-holic) ... instead of worshiping that porcelain god for a few days.

So, a week of celebration should be time enough to welcome in the 60th year of life, right? Who says a birthday is celebrated in just a moment?

I, for one, am grateful for this guy. He has helped grow me over the years we've been together. I can only hope that I, too, have been such a 'spice' to his 60 years (and growing) of life.