Pray? Why?

Sunday, June 3rd, I tried to move a heavy roll-top desk, a few inches to make room for a coming cuddle recliner. I sent my daughter and her husband to Pamida to get the chair and I began preparing the corner I planned to put it in.

I have an issue with my lumbar region in my back. L4 and L5 are requiring some medical attention to alleviate pain and repair some disk damage. I have been given shots in that area for almost two years now and the last two shots were not helping as much anymore. Monday, the 4th, I was planning on calling the doctor to get the ball rolling on a mild stenosis procedure he'd been wanting me to consider. So with this knowledge, pushing on the desk, or lifting and pulling, was out of the question. But I thought I could sit on the floor and put my feet on the desk and my back against the wall and, puuussssh, using my whole body to move the desk. I've moved many a heavy object in this fashion before and it has worked. Who needs those slidders, anyway!?

I did get it to move 1/4 of an inch and then...

     ... SNAP!!!!!!! OR WE CAN CALL THIS A POP!!!! BUT WHATEVER IT WAS, IT WAS LOUD, LIKE A GUN SHOT, AND I WAS DIEING!!!!

Ok, I didn't die but, oh my, that pain was seared in my brain and cataloged under OH SHIT!!!!!!

At first my back arched and my breath was sucked away and my whole body was suddenly extremely hot. The pain was so great, I couldn't breathe and I truly thought I would pass out and, did I say, my body temperature was HOT?! Sweat began to pour out of every pore in my body!! My eyes filled of tears and all I could do is moan. When I could, I fell to the right side on floor and struggled, still in a pain, a pain I swear was worse then when I gave birth to my children(!), to lay flat on back with knees on my chest. There I lay and moaned til I could get my breath back. In rasps, I tried to call for help.

My husband and grandson were outside so I knew they would not hear me. I don't think they would have even heard me if they'd of been in the house!

I started crying and in my head I began pleading over and over "help me ... oh please, help me Lord. I'm so sorry, I'm soooo soooo sorry. (After all, I did have thoughts that I was being unwise trying to move that desk by myself ... if at all!) Please Lord, don't let my back be broken! Please Lord, I have to work. Please Lord, I have so much to do. Please Lord, please!"

I don't know how long it was before I could try to move again. Maybe 40 minutes went by before I was able to do so and though the pain didn't seem as bad, it was still unbearable! I managed to crawl. Every crawl was riddled in pain but I finally managed to get to stairwell and down the stairs. I took a break on the cool kitchen floor. By now my clothes and my hair were sticking to my sweaty body that looked like I had run through the sprinkler. While laying there I was thinking, "this is bad, really bad! I'm going to have to go to the hospital."

Now tell me why, if you know, would I suddenly begin to worry about my appearance in the midst of this horrid pain? I struggled from my laying position, knees on chest, to my crawling mode again and crawled into the bathroom, pulled myself onto the toilet and could reach the bathroom mirror and sink from there. My curling iron was also with-in reach. So there I sat, crying and yelping when I'd move and get stabbed with more waves of pain and curled my bangs, put my sweat wet hair in a bun on my head, wet a wash cloth, laying on sink, with cold water and then slid off toilet to floor and crawled into living room and laid again on my back with knees to chest and began to wipe the sweat off my body and leaving the cool wash cloth on my neck.

I waited for my husband to come into the house to find me. By now, I knew I wasn't dieing and I may just survive this after all.

It had been over 1 1/2 hours from when my back snapped/popped and my husband had still not come into the house. I struggled back into a crawling position and began crawling to the deck door to try to get my husband's attention. But before I reached the door, a motorcycle rode into the yard. I sure didn't want to have my husband's friend see the mess I was in so I crawled back to the stairs where I had a cane, I used infrequently, leaning on the railing. I pulled myself up onto the steps and sat for about a half hour before grandson came in the house and found me crying on the steps. He sat down beside me and I told him Nana hurt her back and in his sweet little way he tried to rub my owie.

Finally, I tried to stand and, with much effort, accomplished this feat. Standing wasn't as difficult as I feared. I immediately became aware that I was standing different than before the snap. My back seemed straighter. Before it was too painful to stand straight. Now it was too painful to bend forward and I absolutely could not bend back! To bend down had to be with a straight back and legs bent. (A position my husband has nagged me to bend in, ever since my back became an issue over 4 years ago.) Ok, at this point I decided that I would not incur the cost to go to the emergency room and felt that if I could just get the pain to subside, I could stick it out til I could get ahold of a doctor.

Well, to make this long story shorter, my husband finally did make it into the house to find out why I didn't come out to say hi to our friend. By then I could get around with a cane so he never knew the extent my suffering.

My daughter and her husband arrived from town and we finished that evening out with a barbecue. I could get around but only with the help of that cane and I went about very slowly. I could not cough! Oh what pain that would trigger!! The pain was not as extreme as when my back snappened but a constant pain at level 8-10 on a VAS pain scale was no picnic either!

After the kids took thier family home, my husband ran me a hot bath with Lavender oil and later he added Epsom salts with a variety of soothing oils. That enabled me to become more mobile and I added Ibuprofen and Aleve, praying for relief.

I could not get comfortable. Pain bearable and pain unbearable and in waves ...

So I posted on Facebook,
a call out to all the prayer warriors,
to help stand with me in prayer for relief.

I have no time reference for when the pain became bearable. It seemed to be a gradual process but by Tuesday I was moving nearly normal without the aide of a cane.

I didn't sleep well Sunday night, but I made it til Monday morning when I could call my doctor. My present medial team is located in North Platte, NE. They wanted me go to Ogallala hospital for MRI or x-ray but I told them I would rather try to wait til Thursday. They offered pain meds but I told them I didn't want to medicate the pain, I wanted to fix what was causing the pain. I've been on pain meds and I know the drill. I know what they do to me. I have an addict personality and hate what I become on them ... so, no ... for now.

AND I really believe in the power of prayer and honestly felt like I could survive the level of pain I was experiencing by then. That was Monday morning and the pain progressively abated until it became bearable by Monday night.

The power of prayer?

How else could I walk and even work at my cleaning job and care for my adorable grandson? And when doctor called me on Friday with the results of the MRI, he was concerned with the damage recorded and scheduled me for Vertebroplasty surgery on Monday, June 11. He informed me that I had a compression fracture of the L1 vertebrae and the previous area of concern, the L4-L5 area, was worse. Seems my walking around and not taking any pain medications is remarkable for the pain level such an injury can incur. How else could I be able to endure this, except by the power of prayer and the Power of the Lord responding to those prayers?

I pray that the Lord God, Father of Jesus, my Lord, will be willing to touch the hand of the doctor and guide him to heal without risk, and that my back would be restored and healed, not only in this new L1 lumbar area but also in the L4-L5 that will require attention after Mondays surgery. Lord, Thy Will Be Done. And thank You, Lord for Your merciful grace and thanks to all of those whose stand with me in prayer. Bless you all!!

Note:  And that cuddle chair recliner? Turns out I was two days late for the sale (chair was $499 and went on sale for $200 less) and Pamida wouldn't honor the sale price. Which turned out to be ok since the back wouldn't come off so chair could be moved in two pieces. It was too big to get up the stairs to my office. So broke my back for nothing. :(

Memorial Weekend Memories

Memorial Weekend and my husband and I have, for more than 20 years, celebrated the yearly riding season beginning each Memorial Weekend. Rarely has a short ride, somewhere, ever been denied or cancelled because of weather. In fact, I remember many a WET riding Memorial trips! This year's plans were to ride up Poudre Canyon in Colorado, up to Walden, and then North into Wyoming to the Snowy Mass Range. And, we wouldn't be going alone. In our early years of going on these Memorial Weekend rides we were accompanied by one or more bikes with several other couples. Couples that we have become friends with and treasure the many special memories that only traveling on a motorcycle can offer. Over the years, though, growing children and lots of changes, my husband and I often headed out for this weekend trip on a lone Harley. Not so this year. Our friend, Bill Davis, and a couple he knew, rode to our home Thursday night from Iowa. My husband and Bill have known each other since my husband's days in Columbus, NE where he worked in the photography department at NPPD over 30+ years. Bill lost his wife and our dear friend, Eva, in January 2010. Bill was her primary care giver as she battled with MS. This consumed much of his time, though he gave it lovingly and without complaint. That's just the way Bill rolls. He rarely rode, though. Last year my husband finally talked him into a two week ride. I think it gave him some much needed healing time. And he must of relished it because this year, they plan to go on a three week ride. This short ride on Memorial Weekend was good practice for those longer rides coming this summer. Bill's friends, Adam and Erin Bartles, had never been to Colorado, nor seen the Rockies. The trip we were going on was very familiar to old timers like my husband and I and even Bill. But I can tell you all now, these two made the trip seem fresh and new. AND I got to see some stuff from different perspectives ... through their eyes. They were a joy to travel with and as with couples we've traveled with in past years, may they also become life long friends.

Yes, even from the parking lot of our first nights motel (photo above), a sunset can be inspiring. Well, we didn't get to leave on Friday morning as early as planned. We had to wait out an early morning thundershower. The old timers had no desire to ride in the rain (my husband and I and, you, too, Bill). Besides, our youngest couple didn't have any rain gear with them anyway. Wet, it could have made for some miserable riding. Little did we know that we were gona be tested on weather elements that weekend with ice cold and blustery winds! So wet would have maybe got us all sick. It was good we waited. Friday night found us in a motel in Ft Collins after a ride up Hwy 14, bucking a strong, cold headwind. We ate supper with Bill's daughter, Casey. The first time I met Casey was at Eva's funeral. What a beautiful woman. She has a twin sister we didn't get to meet. You could tell that was a sad point in Bill's heart. Casey was going to go on the rest of the trip with us and so we made our plans to meet at the motel to begin our journey into the mountains via Poudre Canyon, on Saturday morning. Bill was staying with his daughter for the night. So, after meeting up with us in the motel parking lot Saturday morning, we took a quick trip to Laporte, CO for breakfast. After breakfast we were off up Poudre Canyon road which protected us from the wind that would slam us on the mountain table, the closer we got to Walden, CO. What a beautiful ride up that canyon! Don't know how many times I've been on that canyon road going either way ... but it has been alot. I'm thinking I'll always be back ... til I can't.

We left Poudre Falls and canyon and was greeted by snow on Cameron Pass, but not as much as last year when my husband and I rode through as compared in the pictures below. This year:

Last year:

When we reached the mountain table in route to Walden, CO, a biting cold wind made riding miserable and zapped much of our energy. Adam and Erin lost their bike registration in this wind but luckily retrieved it from a cow pasture. I didn't enjoy this open table ride as I have in the past. I was too busy hunkering down behind my husband to stay warm and battling to keep my hat from blowing off! We took a brief break in Walden and then battled the wind North to Wyoming. We spent our second night in Saratoga, WY.

Saratoga is a small Wyoming community along the North Platte River and home to Saratoga Hot Springs. Our motel was about three blocks away from the springs. I was almost too exhausted to venture out to the hot springs and probably would not have even gone if Erin and Adam hadn't wanted to check it out. And we were the only ones who packed swimsuits! Before Erin, Adam and I set off for a soak in those hot springs, we discovered a small herd of deer feeding in a near-by residents yard. They were so at home ... like pets. As we began walking down the street by them, to the hot springs, they each jumped the fence and walked slowly, like we were herding them, back towards the river only two blocks away. And the hot springs? Very hot! They had a Lobster Pool that at 120 degrees was impossible to get into ... except for Adam. He jumped in ... and .... he jumped right back out. The larger pool was around 106+ degrees and full of a thick coating of green moss on everything. Only that Lobster Pool was moss free. Is a hot springs suppose to be mossy? Well, my back hurt enough that a soak in this hot pool was my goal, moss or not. Aside from all the moss, the soak was heaven! But because of the moss, I decided to shower in the shower room instead of walking back and showering at the motel room. Besides the showers were awesomely hot. (Back at the motel, we would later learn that the room that Bill and his daughter got ... shower was COLD. Note: when traveling in a group, don't be afraid to poll your comrades for their room conditions and you will find those comrades will share their HOT shower with ya.) Anyway, I decide to shower at the springs and, here, was my 1st and only blunder of the trip. I seem to ALWAYS lose something on most of our bike trips! And this would be my moment ... this trip, I would forget to retrieve my wet swim suit and Mary Kay face wash! Remembered em at 2:30 am the next day and, no, they were NOT still there when we went back to get them later that morning. We had arrived early that evening and shared the hot springs with only 6 people and left when there were near 25 people and more coming up the walk as we headed back to the room (without my swimsuit). On our walk home, as we passed where the deer, earlier, had disappeared into the river area ... one lone muley deer stood near the road and watched us walk by. I bet she knew I forgot my swimsuit. :) The next morning we headed out to cross Snowy Range Pass. What another cold ride. And what stark, cold, beauty.

We left Snow Range Pass, stopped at Centennial for a chance to warm up in this really cool bar behind a very small restaurant and then off to Laramie and back South to Colorado and our third night out brought us back to the motel we spent our first night in. We came back for the hot tub baths but our rooms for this night lacked the hot tub feature. We still had large, comfortable, clean rooms though noisy. Our ground floor rooms could hear the upstairs room movement. :/ Supper was at a near by Mexican restaurant with Casey again and, this time, we also met her fella. After supper, we said our good byes to Casey and then back to our rooms so the boys could watch sports. Everyone got to bed early, Not sure my husband slept well as he was worried over some issues with his Harley that, later, would work themselves out by the time we were near home. So he wasted some good rest time. But who knew, huh? Memorial Day Monday was a beautiful day to ride. We ate breakfast in Ault, CO at Gray's Cafe. My son and his family were able to join us and so breakfast time was a bit longer this time, to give us some special time. Then it was off to Nebraska where Bill, Adam and Erin spent one more night before they were off to Iowa Tuesday morning. My husband and I rode to Paxton with them for breakfast and then to North Platte, NE where we said our good-byes. Then they headed home and we detoured to shop for plants to plant in the now late garden. As we headed our separate ways, it felt strange for a bit. Like we were missing something ... funny how hanging out together should make one happy to be alone again. But when you have such a good time with folks then parting seems kinda sad. Sound strange, I know. But until one experiences time on a motorcycle, experiencing memories that are unique to motorcycle riding. This was one of those trips. A weekend of sweet memories and warmer than the actual ride was itself. Next Memorial Weekend my vote will be for New Mexico ... or someplace warm.