The last day of 2009 and I feel like crap. I don't think it is all physcial either. Lots of mental mumbo jumbo mixed in with a creaking neck and a whopper of a headache and some nausea that makes going out to rock in the new year a miss! No, this Nana is staying in and watching the ball drop on TV and sipping on some tummy soothing tea and maybe surfing my Facebook page. My husband volunteered our grand-child sitting services so it could be fun watching the grandson put on his cutsy shows, too. I don't worry much about him catching my 'yuk' since it is safe to say, he and his grand-Popo probably shared thiers with me. So crap it is... or maybe.... out with the crap, in with the ??? Yeah, let's hope 2010 will be a new year, full of blessings and health!
Today, the last day of this year, is Thursday. It is also a night of the full moon. A 'blue moon' even, in that it is the second full moon of the month and rare in occurance, as the last full moon on New Year's Eve was nearly 20 years ago. This alone may be the reason for such a blue mood walking me out of 2009. Fact or fiction, full moons play havoc with my emotions and so.., two in one month!!! Since this particular holiday season evokes painful childhood memories anyway, as well as magnifiying a history of depression and then to put outside influences on top of the mess....guess this year ending was just destined to be over-whelming. But, before I sound too sappy, I must also note that though my blue mood may have been primed by this years 'Blue Moon' I really don't feel THAT bad. More numb than bad. Is numb bad? So, this evening is coming in clear and cold and with a full moon. Hm...I feel an electrical charge race thru my body as I ponder the coming midnight. Thursday closes and Friday begins, the last day, December 31, 2009 dies and January 1, 2010 is born. Hm...
So, here I sit, at 4:08 pm and post in Sam's Thots, my thought's, on the impact this year has had on me.
Whew...just got slammed with a head rush of stuff! I'm gona need some sorting time and then, see, just what I might be willing to reveal on how this year is drawing to it's close on my life. Wow, another year added to the 56+ already survived! Hm..... Too much STUFF in this mind of mine now to think of adding each new year yet to come. In fact, walking into 2010 makes breathing difficult when I think about it. I feel like I'm smothering in the enclosing, pending unknown. Where did my youthful optimism go? My zeal for a new day, a new year? I need to do some sorting mentally before I put 'pen to hand', so to speak. Need some time of reflection and then I'll be back.
