MARK LOOK WEST AND OVER THE HILL

West and over the hill, you can almost see where Grandpa & Grandma lived, and next to them, the little three room house that began our permanent stay in Nebraska. Temporary home to a newly single mother of four, three boys and a girl.

If you look further West, ya just might see our 1st home in Ogallala. Wow, that Mom of ours! Raising four kids and buying a home. It was a tough life though. We had our first permanent home but where Carl had the toughest breaks when we lived further West, in Colorado, you suffered some of your worst breaks in your life in Nebraska...starting, just West, over the hill.

Do you have the answers now, Mark, to all your whys? Why, you came West that weekend in April of 2008, was the only why, we all knew. A Funeral for our younger cousin, Cindy. Loosing her impacted so many and since you had missed some major funerals already, from illness, coming West was a mission. A mission with many layers to unfold. Layers that the rest of us are still unfolding. So, now, has it all been unfolded for you, Mark?

Ok, if you look even further West, you may see Ron's home. It was a real joy to my heart to have you and brother Carl in our home that weekend. In reflection, it was a very deep time for us to talk about mistakes we both made, regrets and amends. Isn't that how the death of a loved one makes us talk of things we fear we may never say before our own death wisks us away, as it had Cindy? How could we know it would be our last talk and so deep was what the time required.

Your health had become your biggest enemy, huh, Bro? And living on borrowed time was becoming visibly more difficult. Funny though, I can still hear your laughter and jokes amid the grunts of pain and complaints of that crappy tasting _ _ _ _ that was required to take a _ _ _ _ . I wish I had your gift to laugh in adversity as much as you did....as much as you tried. I'm a whiner,...a real whimp compared to what you had to endure for so many years. Do you hurt anymore, Mark? That was what you told me you prayed for most....I should be grateful that your prayer was answered. I just wish you didn't have to go little brother!

West, is to some Native American cultures, the direction for death. Interesting that your last trip was West. You were home...yet, not home any more. Things had changed, people have changed and a funeral for Cindy was both a time to say good-bye to her and pay our respect to her sisters and all who loved her....it also became a venue from which all who loved, you, Mark, were, not knowingly, seeing and touching you...hearing you laugh that incredible laugh... for the last time....and, not knowingly, saying 'good-bye'.