It is a cold, windy Sunday night in McCook, NE. The flashing marque, just outside the motel window, just informed me that it was only 14 degrees out. Usually the wind howling through the windows wouldn't bother me. I like a cool room and often leave a window open for a cool breeze. My husband won't let me do this at our country home in the sandhills. I probably could if I was paying the heating bill. And I'm not paying the heating bill in this hotel room. But then, I don't have the windows open. Don't need to. The crisp wind is still finding a way in. May need to use my fake fur coat for an extra cover tonight.

So, why McCook? Came here Friday night to hang out with my daughter and her family as they offer their presence and support to their dear friends whose 6 year old son passed from a rare brain cancer. His  funeral was today. We came early to offer any support needed and to beat a snow threat that never panned out. 

This sad time has me sitting here, on this cold, windy night, reflecting over the year and the saying 'death  seems to come in threes.' This year proves this saying true for our family. The first loss this year was our friend, Bill Davis. I posted a blog around that time expressing my sorrow. Bill was a long time friend of my husband's and when I met him, he became my Sam Elliott look-a-like! And friend! It was hard losing him. Not a surprise. Cancer does not discriminate. But seems even when you are expecting someone to leave, it still doesn't make the leaving any easier! Both he and his wife, Eva, lived on borrowed time and left us when we were not ready to let them go.

My husband and I made the trip to Council Bluffs, IA to say good-bye to our friend Bill. While there a call came in to burden me with death # 2. I arrived home from IA to pack and turn around the very same day and head back ... but going to Lincoln, NE this time.

My daughter and I made that trip to Lincoln, NE to hug our cousins and mourn the loss of a cousin whom had committed suicide. The loss of this cousin ripped our hearts out by it's suddenness and sadness, but suicide is not a surprise to our family.

I use to wish I was in a family of healthy, wise, 'popular', wealthy, elite .... oh, the list went on and on, but was sooooo foolish. I am blood related to a clan of colorful, warm souled misfits that stumble around in our brokenness with moments of despair when we take our own life suddenly, or slowly, in self destructive living modes. I am where I need to be. Wishing made me miss out on the blessings at hand and kept me from changing. When I just accepted and loved, no matter what, I found a way to survive and so came the blessings. So, yes, I am where I need to be. And this year we lost one of those broken souls from within our blessed family 'tribe'.

A few months later and here we are, near the end of the year and, today, we said good-bye to a little 6 year old HERO. Again, with my daughter, we come to this lil town of McCook, NE, ... to hug and marvel at this remarkable family and community that fell in love with their son. A little guy that was way too young to go! Yet, in his short life, he lived a life time and impacted the lives of thousands ... maybe more. His story comes together in so many other places. The Nebraska Cornhuskers, both players and fans, were touched by little Isaiah Casillas. As was the whole community of McCook. You should check out the articles on this little fella.

His funeral was a mix of such sorrow and sweet, sweet memories ... listening to how others were impacted by this young boy, who captivated everyone he met  ...  and then is so quickly gone ... made me take stock of my poor excuses for not doing my best! Shesssh!

Here was a little guy that lived with maybe only one regret ... he couldn't stay longer. He knew he was sick and he knew he wouldn't get to stay long and so he rode his bicycle and played with his friends and loved until he couldn't no more. He lived and he smiled and hugged and laughed and loved. He didn't whine or make life miserable for those around him. He blessed more, in his little time, and he fought like a true warrior. God blessed his little heart by taking him with grace and after only two weeks in Hospice, when his disease is known to be much more taxing and long suffering. Prayers for Isaiah were answered. He gave. Now it is our turn.

If death comes in threes, then this should be the end of death striking it's personal blow in my life. Death is all around us. It seems inescapable. Inevitable. It reminds us of our immortality. It is recorded everyday for someone, somewhere, and often in more than threes. As I grow older, death seems to sing it's tune more often than I care to hear it.

In all this, I am reminded that life is a gift. Too precious to waste and to unpredictable to spend life whining. 

I think the wind died down! The windows aren't whizzing. It is actually getting warm in this room with all these windows. Maybe, I'll slide the window, nearest my bed, open a bit before I turn out the light. I can prop up my pillows and get all snugly and watch the traffic driving by down there from this 2nd story window. No trucks jake breaking down the hill, like they do out by our home in the sandhills! Watching and listening to the night sounds of this lil compassionate McCook town ... seems soothing tonight.  Very soothing to a troubled soul.

So I snuggle into the pillows. One last look at that flashing marque over Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's now 13 degrees. Burrrrrr. I'm glad the wind has died down. But like death, it will rear it's ugly head again. And I go ahead and open that window a crack. And I go ahead and watch and listen.

As I drift off to sleep with such a heavy heart, I can see in my mind the last video that flashed up on the screen at the McCook Community Center at the end of the funeral for little Isaiah Casillas. With feeding tubes and his dancing eyes, he was singing a song I've lovingly watched my little grandson sing but Isaiah ends it with ...

Miss Me, Miss Me, Now Ya Gotta Kiss Me.