HELLO?

 I started this blog 15 years ago. I was 56. I'm 71 as of a week ago. 

WOW!

So much has changed since then. I'm in the last season of my life now. and I still don't know what I want to be when I 'grow' up. I've worn many hats over the years. Student, daughter, sister, Mom, auntie, girlfriend, wife, grandmother (Nana) and yet to wear the great grandma hat. 

I've also worked most of my life. Busgirl, babysitter, waitress, McDonald's clerk, bowling alley clerk, drug dealer 😐, special needs caregiver, counselor apprentice, Drug/Alcohol Certified Counselor, model, secretary. Activities Director at nursing home, line worker/secretary/OSHA administrator for an electric component manufacturer, housekeeper in my own house cleaning business for over 17 years caregiver for Mom and brother Carl and finally a clerk in a boutique in my hometown.  I'm retired now.

I've had so many dreams. Not many have come true. I'm flexible. I revise and move on.

Today? It's 0ne Day At A Time. I'm grateful to have made it this far. I'm sure it wasn't by my own power but totally destined by my Higher Power, whom I chose to call God. I don't understand my Higher Power but I do KNOW I've not been alone in all my 71 years.

Hello? Is anyone out there?

It is almost Thanksgiving 2020 and I've not returned YET to my blog. So I guess this note is for me. I make lists now. More list making then ever in my 67 years. And on my most recent list I have listed 'return to blogging'.

Am I as lost as I wrote in my last two entries? No, I don't think so. But I am overwhelmed and maybe stuck wandering in a spiritual desert because I can't believe God would allow some of the stuff that have occurred in these past several years. Unless the end of this world, as we know it, is the current path we all are on? I'm tired of wandering in this spiritual desert. And I don't want to get caught in this spiritual desert if we are nearing the end of this world, as we've known it.

So ...

I hope to sort through my thoughts and organize them like I have been doing to my home and my Mom's home. Sort into piles the things I want to keep and the things I want, maybe need, to throw away, donate, or sell and unlock some chains that have been accepted as my friends but are toxic to my soul. Then write ... return to my passion regardless of my self judgments ... return to blogging.

Later ... 

Thanksgiving 2018

Harrison Clan peppered with Erwin, Wiegand, Shafer, Jones, Rodriquez and Schellpeper branches for perfect love seasoning!!! 

HELLO?

I'm still lost. No words to express the mess that fills my mind. I had hoped to return to my blog in 2018. HAH!  It's 2020 and I've not blogged a word! So is it too late?

So much has captured my thoughts from the thorn in my side, TRUMP, to new symptoms influencing my life from my Multiple Sclerosis that I've limited my media access to Facebook and Twitter. 

Lost ... 

Yes. Too Long Away. I'm Fighting My Way Back.

I'm not sure where to start. It has a long time since I've tried to blog. My silly mind has not been my friend for a few months and my Multiple Sclerosis is responsible for much of the shenanigans. So ...

This year started with me throwing a fit by cancelling all the holiday plans and staying home and pouting about a lab bill that caught me unaware of a sneaky out-of-network slap in the face. I protested the bill and spent several months sending appeals and talking on the phone with our insurance. It's a long, stressful story and the end results are still pending. When this nightmare is over, maybe I will blog about the whole experience then. Or not. I've no doubt anyone reading my blog can relate their own nightmares with insurance and outrageous medical costs so reading about mine may seem redundant. Just know my heart relates. 

I retired from my cleaning business in June of this year. It called for a celebration so we combined my 65th birthday and my retirement party together and God gave me one of the hottest Saturdays to have it on! My husband made the calls and smoked the pork for the pulled pork sandwiches that were featured in the food we served. I tried spend most of the day in front of a fan while enjoying dear family and friends that ventured out in the heat to help me celebrate. it was a worthy celebration in spite of the hot day. 

Note to self:  Though my husband means well and I love when he takes the initiative to sponsor such fun ... but IF I, too, wish to enjoy said fun then a caterer or party planner is to be hired. My husband rocks in the set up, meal planning and clean up, but when the party rolls out he is found drinking with his buddies or being the social butterfly I'd strive to be... but am more often found tending to the needs of the guests and making sure food is hot or cold for the long haul. 

Also in June, we went on a bike trip with our dear friends, John and Camille Oberg. Loved the whole trip and took lots of pictures so instead of this blog being so long that I waste my whole day in front of a computer, I will gather my pictures and post a few and tell the tales of that trip in my next post.

Until then ...

February 2017 .... ALREADY!!!!!

I've been through a thousand emotions, nearly alienated all of my republican relatives and still get some harassment on Facebook since the election of perverted Trumpikin! I didn't get to march in the largest protest march ever recorded ... the Woman's March on Jan 21st, 2017. One day after Trumpikin's inauguration. Nor did I get to march in any of the sister marches ... one even held in Lincoln, NE. But I beamed with pride, to be a woman, on that day of the recorded largest, peaceful, protest ever!!!

So .... where is this blog going? I am so very sorry, if by some crazy chance I have a follower or two, that I have neglected this media. I wish I could say that I've come to some conclusion but not so ...'m

I'm one of the ones that had to go back into counseling to deal with the Trump election which triggered all my abuse memories and I'm still trying to sort all that out, along with a diagnosis of MS and my husbands shoulder surgery that took place January 5th. 

Give me a bit more time to regroup. Please.

Really? REALLY? CHEETO TRUMP IS PRESIDENT?

REALLY?

Trump is president?

Well, this slimy, bigoted, narcissistic, sexual assaulter IS NOT MY PRESIDENT!

I'm still in shock! How? What the fuck!

My first post on Facebook was, 'Hey, motherfuckers, Trump is president!' 

I don't swear anymore. I tried to let it all hang out. No filters. I tried to be a Trump. You guessed it ... I got jumped on by the very people who voted for this slime, those that accepted his dickness but ... God forbid, I should try to be like Trump. How rude of me. OF ME? 

Don't try to be like Trump without a few billion in your back pocket.

Now there are rules. And only Trump can be such a fucking ass and be worshiped!

But I don't want to be worshipped.

I just want to be heard.

Trump as president is crazy!

Trump as president is suicide for democracy!

We just stepped into a complete dictatorship!

Hitler is truly reincarnated!

I've been thinking about what direction to take this blog of Sam's Thots. Up to now it has been A LOT of rambling. A mis-mash of poems, journaling of an experience or two, memories, photographs, and anything I've wanted to post. But no real direction. Do I want to limit myself?